Why I Blog

As I mentioned yesterday, I am linking up with Leslie at A Blonde Ambition for Why I Blog. I am excited to hear what you all have to say!

I have never been one for writing in a diary. It is not the process of writing the turns me off, but that fact that one day someone may find that journal and be able to read my secret thoughts and musings. I was teased a lot in elementary school, so I learned to keep anything beyond superficial thoughts and feelings to myself; to safeguard my "me." Writing down personal things made me feel vulnerable, so I never did. 

I've grown out of that awkward phase (thank the baby Jesus), but still am uncomfortable completely opening myself to one person (Lion Man excluded). I have a group of really amazing friends, but I find it difficult to show my entire personality to any one of them. Now, please don't think I keep secrets or lie to my friends; they all know me. I just have a habit of playing up/down certain parts of my life or personality depending on who I am interacting with. 

Everyone does this. People connect better when they are able to share an activity or experience. You do yoga with your active friend, thrift shop with your hippy friend, and go dancing with your party friend.  But often I find that there is still a little voice urging me to like what they like and do what they do out of fear of judgement. The little, fat, elementary school girl that lives in my head begs me to be as chameleon-like as possible to avoid rejection. 

My friends are wonderful, and there is no reason for me to do this. They would love me even if I decided to only wear burlap sacks and renounce hair washing. But I still feel haunted by my past, whispering that I have to pretend in order to fit in.  

I wouldn't call myself a blog lurker, but there are a few people I have been following for a while. At first I considered blogging narcissistic. Seriously, you people think you can put your lives in the interwebs and anyone would care? 

However, after a while, I began to realize that it wasn't about showcasing your life or soliciting feedback. People would write whether anyone was reading or not. They had carved out a little (cyber)space and were using it as a platform for self growth and expression, for documenting important events, and, at times, as tiny soap boxes, even if no one was listening. And there is no fear of someone finding their secret diary. By volunteering their thoughts and feelings to the universe, they diffused any power a journal-snoop might have over them. 

Most importantly, they were not writing for any specific audience. They were writing for the sake of writing. Those who enjoyed it would read, and those that didn't, wouldn't. And this, my friends, is what finally got me: If I blogged, I would have no reason to modify myself. If I wanted to talk about fashion, gardening, wedding, love, life, crafting, whatever, I could. And, because there are so many beautiful, different people out there, the internet would listen.

So, I started my little blog just a few short weeks ago and am surprised by the bits of my personality that are beginning to reveal themselves with the fear of rejection removed. 

We'll see how long I can keep this going, but I have really enjoyed these first few steps in the journey. 

Keep it Fancy,
Jett